Better than the first one. Still sucks.

That’s the distilled version for those who are sick and tired of hearing about “The Twilight Saga” and vampires (other than True Blood, of course) and debates over which side you play for — Team Edward or Team Jacob.

Everything about New Moon, the second film based on Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight book series, screams self-awareness. The first time Edward (Robert Pattinson) appears on the screen, he’s walking across a parking lot and a slow, knowing grin crosses his face. It’s like he can hear the girls screaming at the top of their lungs in the theater. Boys are all that’s needed to make New Moon‘s audience come back for more — and the film delivers in spades.

The story begins a short time after the anticlimactic action in Twilight. Bella (Kristen Stewart) is turning 18 and starting her senior year of high school. She’s plagued by nightmares of growing old and wrinkled because she has surpassed her vampire boyfriend, who was 17 when he stopped aging more than 100 years ago. When Bella almost becomes dessert at her own birthday party, Edward and his pale family of vampires fly into the night to protect her from their bloodlust.

After wallowing in self-pity, accompanied by overwrought emo-ballads as the soundtrack, Bella takes comfort in the company of her childhood friend Jacob (Taylor Lautner), who is ”like, buff,” as Bella puts it. He also happens to be a werewolf and mortal enemy of vampires. When Bella realizes that Edward appears to her in moments of danger, like a transparent guardian angel, Bella takes more and more risks to achieve that high of seeing him. When one goes awry, suddenly it is she who is racing to save him.

To read the rest of Tim’s review, hop on over to Metro Weekly, where his article is currently running.