Burton's looking glass is compelling but poorly crafted in what is clearly an underwhelming 'Underland'

My dark heart reflexively gives Tim Burton credit for turning Alice in Wonderland into a rich dystopian tale — one that favors weird over wonder, and changes the imaginary land’s name from Wonderland to Underland. It’s a typical Burton-ian film in a lot of ways. Fans of the wayward-haired director can enjoyably curl up to the familiar fraught palette and dreary sensibility, while welcoming Burton mainstays, Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. But allow me to crush any optimism that Burton has conjured some sort of dark magic this time around in what is manifestly an underwhelming Underland. I imagine Lewis Carroll, author of the original Alice in Wonderland (1865), rests comfortably in his grave knowing Burton’s take is just loosely inspired by his original tale.

Despite donning the same name, Burton’s Wonderland sits well afar from what audiences might expect. It’s not a remake nor a sequel. Rather, Burton’s take is wholly unique when it comes to the finer details and textures, despite squarely setting his tale inside the rabbit hole we all know. In the film, Alice is oft (and accurately) described as the “stupid girl” by the Blue Caterpillar, primarily because she doesn’t recall her childhood trip to Underland. The talking critters are hopeful she is indeed the Alice from years ago, the real Alice who is destined to save them from the tyrannical rule of the Red Queen. As the diminutive dictator, Helena Bonham Carter — Burton’s wife, by the way — plays a wonderfully Napoleon-like villain, abusing frogs, stepping on pigs and giving into her natural bigheadedness (literally) to impulsively order decapitations.

Alice’s head is safe for most of the film, since no one knows if she’s truly the Alice of yore. Having stammered upon introduction to the Red Queen, Alice is primarily referred to as “Um.” This direction of amnesia and discovery is truly a silly one for Burton’s film. Alice finding and asserting her true character is a fine lesson for young girls, but one that isn’t terribly compelling or interesting. She happens from one interaction to another chipping away at her selective memory loss, and eventually admits to herself her full potential, which is to slay the Jabberwock in some wannabe-Lord of the Rings epic confrontation.

The Jabberwock is the Red Queen’s champion, and only with its destruction can Underland return to the White Queen’s rule. Anne Hathaway is lovely as Carter’s foil and sister, blithely flitting about like a drunken housewife from Connecticut. Hers is an odd but enjoyable take on the character, unlike Depp’s Mad Hatter. Burton gets credit for taking the Hatter’s appearance down such a colorful and eccentric path, but Depp fails in holding up his end. To be fair, writer Linda Woolverton — off with her head! — did him little favors. When in good spirits, the Hatter’s aloof wandering is accompanied by a very odd lisp; perhaps attributable to the Madonna-like gap in his front teeth. When riled up, however, the speech impediment strangely gives way to a gravely Scottish accent that smacks of Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean). To make Hatter’s matters worse, his often indiscernible rambling, which at times surfaces genuine and worthwhile Carroll lines, begs for closed captions.

But do they provide captions in 3D? The technology, like in most films save for Avatar, is a largely pointless point-of-view in this film. Crap flying at the screen and the occasional molesting of perspective is completely tedious and ironically flat. Kids will enjoy it of course, and theaters can charge more for these screenings. Burton’s art, however, suffers under the cheesy device, which makes Wonderland all the more disappointing. Fans of Burton, like myself, will probably find the film enjoyable but certainly not very good; and probably better in traditional format. It’s always interesting to see stories (especially classics) through the director’s shadowy looking glass. But this time around, it seems Burton’s lens is just too ill-crafted.