Audiences are left standing in a sad, bloody mess

Director Rob Zombie recently said that he would “never” bring audiences a third installment of his Halloween films, following the release of his sequel, Halloween 2, this weekend. Let us all take a moment to respond with a collective, “Thank You!” As reboots/re-imaginings/regurgitations go, Zombie’s Halloween of 2007 was a noteworthy effort, largely in showing a different, interesting perspective on the origins of Michael Meyers. Zombie carries that same narrative vision into Halloween 2, but frustratingly manages to butcher the story from beginning to end. Michael’s accomplished pursuit of nubile prey trails Zombie’s ability to ferret out and eliminate any residual value from his original, inspired direction. And not unlike many scenes in the film, audiences are left standing in a sad, bloody mess.

Zombie’s first victim is the character of young Michael Meyers. Even though from the right angle he looks like a lesbian, Daeg Faerch did a solid job surfacing a vacant, peculiar and predatory adolescent Michael in the first film. His performance must have gotten him better offers, because Faerch didn’t return for the sequel. While young Chase Vanek does his (or her) best to wax quietly psychotic, the childhood Michael in Halloween 2 seems far from threatening. Even though the film primarily deals with Michael as an adult, Zombie makes use of flashbacks and hallucinations to convey the muted killer’s motivations. The young Michael and an oddly wide-eyed momma Myers (Sheri Moon Zombie) appear to Michael throughout the film and push him to hunt down Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton), all the while saying ominous things like, “It’s not yet time.” Spooky, right?

The movie opens with Laurie being taken to the hospital after gunning down Michael — pretty much the end of the first film. Before swiftly moving to one year later, the film loiters in a bit of bloody gratuity and lets audiences know (in case there was any question) that Michael is, in fact, not dead. While Michael spends a year’s time walking off his gun shots (and doing whatever else, we don’t know), Laurie is in full swing with post-traumatic stress (e.g., lots of screaming, crying and nightmares). Though Laurie is meant to be the central victim of the story, Zombie makes her wholly unlikable. If the bitch is having such a hard time with her dark past, then why does she sleep beneath a Charles Manson poster and live amongst spray-painted skulls and pentagrams, not to mention painfully contrived dim lighting? You get the sense that Laurie isn’t doing much to help her situation, and therefore all her whining becomes pretty tedious.

Zombie doesn’t do much for Michael’s character either. The murderer, who was so motivated in the first film, now wanders the land like a nomad. And in the words of Bruno, looks more like a “dirty wizard” or a “poor Santa Claus” than a threatening force of evil. Michael eventually gets back into killing form at the suggestion of his childhood self and dead mother. Zombie does give some life (if that’s possible) to Michael’s kills, infusing startling brutality and blood into the attacks, but the director takes some unwanted liberties. Showing much of Michael’s face, including his beard (from not shaving), and the murderer eating all serve to humanize his character, which certainly removes some of the fear factor of the story. Pair this with a vivid mommy complex, and you have a markedly different Michael this time around.

The film moves from one kill to the next, as expected, and some, to Zombie’s credit, are tasty morsels for genre fans. When the film comes to the final battle and conclusion, however, most will be pretty pissed, especially genre fans. It’s as if Zombie, upon nearing the end of the film, decided to drive it right off a cliff. No wonder he doesn’t want a third. And neither do we.