Like the sketchy take-out joint down the street that strangely serves everything from pizzas to subs to Chinese — behind bulletproof class, no less — “December Boys” is one of those films that is to be approached with caution and only out of a nagging hunger (to see Daniel Radcliffe in something other than “Harry Potter,” that is). Similar to the rubbery cheese-steak, “December Boys” is a chewy, bland experience that sours your stomach and doesn’t really sit right, ultimately proving a regretful selection.

Named for their neighboring birthdays, the December boys are a group of four orphan youngsters that pound around like an irritating pack of Jack Russell puppies. Radcliffe plays Maps, the eldest of the group by far, but surprisingly not the alpha dog. Despite what the theatrical poster and press might lead you to believe, Lee Cormie (as Misty) is the closest thing to a lead character.

The foursome resides in an orphanage set in the expansive outback of Australia, but is sent south to the beach on holiday – a respite from their humdrum, adopt-me! lives. Once they arrive at their seaside escape and greet the elder couple housing them, much time is spent and sweeping camera angles used to show the pack running and frolicking across the stunning Oz landscape – the only redeeming facet of this film. (It’s best to ignore the boys and simply enjoy the geography.)

Gang shenanigans come to and end, however, when Misty gets wind that a nearby young couple is considering adopting one of the boys since they can’t have children of their own. Camaraderie gives way to competition, as Misty angles to be the chosen one.

This is but the first of many contrived, coming-of-age scenarios that are crammed into just one hour and forty-five minutes. Ironically, there is nary a moment of stillness in their holiday retreat – each cliché emotional trial limps on screen, which are as difficult for the characters to weather as it is for the audience to watch. It’s like waiting for a slow-moving train to pass.

Strangely, these trying scenes are rife with flies, circling the actors and sometimes landing on their faces. This is probably a function of the Aussie outdoors. However, it’s more plausible to think the flies are drawn to the smell of this film — symbolic, even, of the audience’s desire to swat away the irritating and labored scenes of adolescent emotions.

If this weren’t enough, it’s difficult to not constantly be reminded of Harry Potter, and examining whether Radcliffe can actually act outside of the character that has made his career. While the magic in “December Boys” can most readily be described as puberty, Potter…err, Radcliffe…does a mediocre job of playing a similar angst-ridden orphan that is guided and bewildered by an intangible influence. This role isn’t exactly a stretch for him.

With the saturation of stunted adolescent lessons, “December Boys” seems particularly fitting for the 6-14 year-old crowd. Such a context would certainly make some of the annoyances a bit easier to swallow. However, the film alienates itself from this more understanding audience by including a smattering of bare breasts and other adult-centric topics. The film doesn’t sit easy — is it a childhood tale of worthwhile lessons, or one of nostalgia for adults?

Whatever the ultimate positioning, “December Boys” is a poorly cooked coming-of-age recipe that has little flavor and a cardboard-like consistency. These ingredients create a collection of scenes that turn the stomach for more than an hour before culminating in a truly nauseating ending.